Thursday, September 13, 2012

Senior Capstone Concert

As a dance major we all were required to complete a semester long project called our Senior Capstone.  In simpler terms, we all choreographed, staged, chose our music, chose our dancers, did all the lighting for and stressed out immensely over our pieces. Basically, I was a crazy psycho all semester.  

 Some people didn't understand how huge or complex of a project this really was- how about you try choreographing a 7 minute piece incorporating all the necessary choreographic elements, making sure to keep the audience engaged, keeping the integrity of your intent alive and true, all the while actually liking what you're creating! Ugh. It was a rough semester.  As I have grown older, I have grown wiser, {surprise, surprise}- things that are generally tough or require a fair amount of struggle/ push you into uncomfortable and unfamiliar areas, are often the experiences that yield richly rewarding results. 

"Hold on Thy Way"
 My dancers were truly beautiful 


Although, this experience was difficult and I constantly found myself doubting and second guessing my abilities, I really did enjoy and gain so much throughout the entire process. At the end of it all I learned so much about myself and saw what can happen when I push myself far greater than I ever thought I could. It's amazing what faith and prayer can do for you. Overall, I was proud of my work and extremely proud of my dancers- did I mention they were incredibly patient, encouraging, and ready and eager to try whatever crazy thing came into my head? Sigh...I lucked out big time. 

I had so much support from so many people- all the girls I graduated were so amazing. We struggled, vented, cried, ate our feelings together many times during the semester. My incredible husband would stay up late with me as I choreographed on campus or in our tiny kitchen when I needed "just one more eight count". He was always eager to listen and provide fresh, new ideas to help me get out of a choreographic rut. It's amazing what a non-dancers perspective can do for you. 
 My family even came all the way to Idaho to support me on such an important night. My mom flew all the way from Ohio, and even picked up my Papa in Utah to come up. Both my Dad and sister came up from Arizona, it was perfect! To show how incredibly supportive my family is, everyone came up only 9 days later to support me as I graduated- I seriously have the best family ever! 

Here's to new beginnings and a new chapter in my life! 

Da Mama and Papa

Baby Keena 


Mommy and McKenna 
My Dad 


He kept me sane throughout the semester- thank goodness

My dancers after the show

One of my incredible professors- I learned so much from her

The puppies even came to show their support!

Pretty flowers

Right at home 

Chloe is not impressed 

Playing Catch-Up


It's been forever since I blogged! So many huge things have happened in the few months that I have been MIA from the blog world:


***I graduated from BYU- Idaho with my Bachelors of Arts degree in DANCE. I feel so proud, so accomplished, and so sad to be done with school.***

*** I successfully completed my Senior Capstone project for my degree- one of these days I'll post the video of it.***

***Joe is crazy busy working full-time and going to school full-time. He's basically amazing.***

*** I started an awesome job, one that I really enjoy and have grown to love. I'm a manager a Hollister! Surprisingly, to all you scoffing at my job choice, you must have a bachelors degree to be a manager, I have amazing health, vision, and dental benefits for both me and Joe, and it's a full-time job that pays great right out of college! Yippie!***

These past few months have been a whirlwind, I was actually really sad to graduate from college; the entire week leading up to graduation all I did was cry- sounds dramatic, I know but ask Joe he will confirm that I was a blubbering baby. I'm not sure if it was because of the stress of my Capstone project, sleep deprivation, or what my deal was- I was just really sad to graduate.  I literally felt like my life was over. Suddenly, everything around me seemed to be crumbling down to the ground. All my hard work these past four years: was it worth it? Did I accomplish what I wanted? Did I waste my time? I had so many questions, but mostly I was overcome with fear.  I didn't know what life would have in store for me now that I was no longer a student.  Miraculously, my life isn't over like I thought it'd be. I'm now trying to rediscover who I am now that I am a college graduate. It's like a weird transitional phase- to become a "real" adult or not. I guess only time will tell, but for now I am content with no homework, working a job  I enjoy, and having a great time with my hubby! 

Here's a bunch of pictures from the last few months... 

Nom nom's for Joe's Birthday

Wake surfing 

Me and a very pregnant Shae. She was due any day when this picture was taken. Now her babe is 2 months old!!
Joe "body surfing" 

One of the gifts Joe got me...he knows me well
Mine and Joe's birthday's are only 4 days apart- it's so fun to celebrate so close together 

Friday, June 8, 2012

A Life Well Lived

I've been struggling with whether or not I wanted to post anything this personal, but decided I better write how I'm feeling in this moment for my own memory.  This post will most likely be a long one, just a warning- you can leave now if you wish. 

On May 26th I lost a very important person in my life; my grandma, or more appropriately named my Nana, passed away at age 66.  Saying and hearing those words don't sting as much as they used to, maybe I'm still numb from it all, or I haven't fully accepted it.  I'm trying really hard to come to terms with everything, but when someone so influential and important is suddenly gone trying to take a firm grasp on reality is harder than it usually is. I've never lost anyone close to me before so experiencing death and going through these bizarre waves of emotions is uncharted territory for me. 
General Conference April 2010


Nana had ovarian cancer, among many other health issues, and valiantly fought it for years and years. I was ignorant to how sick she really was; she never complained about her health problems,  she never let on how sick she really was.  I'm the biggest baby when I get the flu, I can't even imagine what she must have felt like going through countless chemotherapy treatments, dialysis three times a week, and being poked and prodded by needles all day long. She truly was a fighter. She always told me that she was going to beat this sickness, and I believed her. 

It's interesting how Heavenly Father blesses our lives on a daily basis, putting people and events so perfectly placed, making it impossible to miss His hand at work. The last post I wrote was about McKenna's birthday weekend she spent with us in Rexburg. The entire Saturday she was here it was a gloomy, rainy, horribly cold day.  We were in Idaho Falls trying to figure out what to do when my mom called.  She informed us that Nana old had a few more hours, stunned and completely shocked I asked if I could talk to her. The nurses obliged and my mom held her phone up to Nana's ear. It was a short conversation, probably lasting a minute at most, but those last moments we shared with Nana are one's that I won't ever forget.  

We decided that it would be best to go walk around the Idaho Falls temple grounds.  As we walked the rain suddenly stopped, and a peace and beauty filled my heart. A feeling that I've only ever felt inside the temple; it was truly beautiful and so sacred.  We later learned that during those moments we spent walking around the temple was when Nana had passed away.  How grateful I was to be able to spend it with my sister on the grounds of the temple. 


Pondering life and death has been something that has consumed my thoughts as of late, trying to figure out what I want to get out of my short journey here on earth.  I don't want to live a life of regret or look back on my life when I'm old and think I didn't accomplish anything substantial. Most of the weekend spent with my family for Nana's funeral was filled with tears, obviously, but we also spent time talking about Nana's life and the impact she had on each of us.  Looking at Nana's life I saw how completely full bodied her mortal experience was, how she truly never let any moment pass her by.  She lived a carefree and adventurous life- one that was filled with laughter, passion, a love for the gospel, a desire to learn, a reverent gratitude to her Heavenly Father for the abundance she was given.  Her attitude towards life was always positive, this is something I wish to emulate in my own life. 
Photo Bombed by Nana! 




{Comical side note}


It wouldn't be a family gathering without something going insanely wrong, even if it's at a funeral. My mom had the idea that all the grand kids sing A Child's Prayer during the funeral service.  We all agreed, because 1) the song is great 2) everyone knows it, we've sung it since Primary and 3) It would add a nice personal touch.  Oh boy, oh boy were we ever so wrong! We only got to practice for a total of maybe 2 1/2 hours and we quickly remembered that our family is not, in any way, shape, or form musically talented.  For whatever reason, we still went ahead with the song- recruiting my mom and my Aunt Amy for backup. Terrible, terribly, terrible. We completely butchered the song, and horrified all that attended the funeral. It was hilarious in a weird and twisted kind of way. I'm sure Nana was laughing that one up. At least we tried, right?  


Mesa Temple lights. Christmas 2008


I was given the opportunity to speak at Nana's funeral, I'll just post my talk because I think that does a lot better job of explaining how I feel. 



Hi, my name is Laurin Leiser, I am Lana’s oldest grandchild and appropriately named her “number 1” (sorry to all the other grandkids, I had you beat from day one).  I love that every single one of us had a unique and special relationship with our Nana, one that couldn’t be compared to anyone else’s; I cherished knowing that I had a bond that no one else had or could have with her.  I always felt so special around Nana, there could be a million other people around us, but one look from her and I was on the floor laughing because I knew exactly what she was thinking.  Like I said, my Nana and I had a very special connection from the beginning of my life.  Among being her “number 1” I was also named her “wild thing” and much like her, I had my own way of doing things and a unique way of getting where I wanted to go in life.  I attribute much of my free spirited nature to her loving and outgoing personality.
All of my memories of my Nana are fond ones that are filled with copious amounts of laughter and joy; there wasn’t ever a dull moment when Nana was around, I’m sure we can all attest to that!  Nana wasn’t your typical grandma; she refused to be boring or “grandma” like in any sort of way.  I remember during my freshman year of high school Nana came out to watch my sister and I while my parents were out of town.  Homecoming was the weekend she was there with us and I needed to find the perfect dress.  Most would think taking your grandma dress shopping would equal humiliation and being shunned from any sort of social clique, but I knew going with her would be quite the contrary. She bought me a black halter top dress; definitely not mom approved!  I thought I had the coolest grandma ever; she made me feel like the most special and most beautiful girl in the world.
Growing up I was quite unruly, giving my parent’s fits was just another day in the life for me.  I would always call Nana and spend hours on the phone with her so upset about how “unfair” my parents were for grounding me, yet again.  She would always help me see clearer why my parents reacted the way they did and would always, very gently, tell me to get my act together.  I am so grateful for her advice and support and for constantly being my cheer leader when I felt everyone else had given up on me.  Nana had an amazing ability to make anyone feel like their worth was far greater than they could ever imagine.

When I turned eight and got baptized I was lucky enough to have Nana as one of the speakers at my baptism.  She created a visual aid and on it was a road map.  She told me that this was my personal road map and how there were necessary stops on it that I must take.  She talked about my pre-earth life and how excited I was to come to earth and gain a body.  She told me that there would be bumps in the road along the way, but she knew I would make it through just fine.  On this road map there were designated “rest stops”, the first one being my baptism.  The second was to be sealed in the temple.  The third was to live a righteous and virtuous life.  14 years ago marriage and going through the temple seemed like such a far off “rest stop”, but little did I know it would come faster than I thought it would.  I feel extremely fortunate that Nana was able to attend both my baptism and my sealing ceremony.  How special it was to have her there with me in the temple 8 months ago on my wedding day.

Upon hearing about her passing my thoughts were instantly taken back to my baptism day.  I pictured myself sitting in my little white dress  on the front row attentively listening to Nana speak on my life here on this earth and how she told me if I ever get lost or take a wrong turn, that I have so my resources to help guide me back to the correct path.  She told me that she would always be there to help me along the way if needed.  I couldn’t ever imagine the day where I couldn’t go to her for advice or a listening ear.  I feel as if I have only covered an inch on my road map and have recently wondered how could I possibly continue on my journey without her?
I realized that she left with me and even more detailed road map.  One that is worn with use, covered in highlighter markings, and has alternate routes suggested for my comfort.  This road map is the very one she travelled and navigated through her life with.  She taught me to live and enjoy life to the fullest, to always make time to laugh, even when it might not be the most appropriate to, and to love unconditionally.
I don’t understand why she was taken from us so soon, but I do know that she is much happier and in a beautiful, wonderful place.  I am eternally grateful for the blessings of the gospel and the healing powers of the Atonement.  We are so fortunate to have the knowledge we have and the comfort and peace it brings into our hearts.  I know that Nana was welcomed into spirit paradise with loving and open arms and how excited she must have been to see her loved ones that she so missed.  I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with her and back in her loving arms laughing and reminiscing on all the good times we shared and will continue to share together. 


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

McKenna's 19th Birthday

I was so excited when I found out McKenna was going to come up to Rexburg for her Birthday weekend; I quickly got down to business planning the weekend full of activities.  I knew that I wanted to bake her a homemade birthday cake so I was on the hunt for the perfect recipe. Luckily, I found an awesome recipe for a vanilla cake (McKenna's favorite) and got to work baking it.  

I made these gems. They disappeared about as quickly as I took the picture
The puppies were excited to see McKenna 
I love gift giving :)
I'm so nerdy, but I was excited.
The cake I made! It turned out great! 
The banner on top of the cake lit on fire...ha
Deciding on a wish
YAY! 
The best part of birthday cake is the leftovers I eat for breakfast. 
Although, our weekend spent together was short and we got some sad news (more on that later) I was grateful for the time we were able to spend together.  We stayed up late with Joe talking all about the gospel and how lucky we are to have it in our lives, and how comforting it is during trying times. I love my family and I am so grateful for all their love and support. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

A Ray of Sunshine

Lately, I have been extremely hard on myself... this isn't out of the ordinary because I have a tendency to be my worst critic, as most of us are, but things have gotten out of hand. I won't go into details, but do you ever feel like you're just so completely worthless and nothing you do is ever good enough? Ew, that's so horrible to actually say out loud, and I'm slightly embarrassed I'm even sharing it, but it's been what I've been feeling for a while now {no judging}. Hopefully, I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way.

My sister is actually amazing. She has this keen intuition to pick up on anyone's down days and fill them with sunshine.  Her ability to know what to say and how to make anyone feel better amazes me, I aspire to be like her all the time!  I woke up Saturday morning with an email from her with this quote. I've found myself reading it at least 100 times since then and how grateful I am for her and these inspired words. 

"To be successful in life, you cannot afford to be your own worst enemy. And taking the battles inside - firing mortar shells into your very soul - is potentially one of the most damaging of all human activities. Believe it or not, you can recover from poor grades or a missed date or a flat tire or a dead battery in a car. But if you turn such outside matters into self-recrimination and self-criticism, letting them damage your spirit and your sense of self-worth and esteem, then you have begun a battle with a very high mortality rate indeed. We all need a higher image of ourselves, but Satan would have us believe it comes totally from the praise of others when in fact it comes from our relationship with God." (BYU, 9/10/85)

May your day will be filled with as much sunshine as mine is :) 


Monday, April 30, 2012

Our Arizona Reception

It's a little overdue, but I decided to finally post the pictures of the reception we had in Arizona 3 weeks after we got married.  It was quite the whirlwind of a weekend- remember Joe had just had his appendix removed 2 weeks earlier and it was infected at this time- Grossty! He had the 3 feet of gauze shoved in his incision, poor guy had a miserable time on the flight. I was ready to fight any TSA guy who stopped Joe because of his insanely wrapped bandage around his abdomen.  It looked a lot more sketchy than it actually was...

We had this reception at my Dad's house in Scottsdale and it was absolutely beautiful.  Growing up in this house I had always envisioned having some sort of reception here when I got married. The last big party we had here was when I graduated high school. It seriously seems like it was just yesterday. 

It's always nice to go home to my house.Thinking I spent so much of my young life in this house reminds me of all the good times I had; making good decisions along with bad decisions, sneaking out on the weekends {sorry mom and dad...but can you blame me? This house was the easiest to sneak out of}, learning who I was as a person, deciding what college to go to, bringing my now husband home to meet the fam. Most of my major young adult decisions happened here.  Every hallway has a memory, every room was filled with laughter. And there was a candy drawer that was fully stocked all the time. {the real reason I'm homesick} 


 I miss it a lot.  It's hard now that I'm married and in school because the chances of going home anytime soon are slim.   
So many good, happy memories are in that house, along with some sad ones, of course.  I think it's a combination of all those that makes a house a home. I loved being able to have such a special moment in my life take place in the home where, in my mind, my family will always {still} be a family.

Some of the beautiful centerpieces 

Back patio 

Oh, how I love you Arizona 


Beautiful 


Giving Joe his medicine. He was so drugged up for the reception haha poor thing

So glamorous 

All the delicious food being prepped. We actually got to eat at this reception!!!


We had over 200 candles all around the house, backyard, and driveway. It was magical


Oh, heyyy!

So romantical 

Candid

Gorgeous evening 

The rest of the pictures were taken by the lovely Jennifer Bluth with, The Paper Bag Co. 



Love this picture of the courtyard 

Candle lit courtyard that leads up to the front door

Candles everywhere! 
Did I mention that Joe forgot his suit in Rexburg? We were in Salt Lake and he asks, "did you grab my suit?" Uhhh...no! 

Dad and McKenna 

So yummy 


I think Joe forgot his suit on purpose so he could get a brand new one





This picture is actually really funny because Joe couldn't sit {normally} with his incision. He was too nice to say anything about it haha.  



Joe's parent's came all the way from Coeur d' Alene to attend the reception. So nice! 

These are what Heaven tastes like

Those were to die for

Mini red velvet and pumpkin cupcakes. Divine 

So yummy