Saturday march 29th: I was so exhausted. I woke up late, around 9:30, and went downstairs and had some cereal, I had so much to do that day that I should have gotten in the shower right then and started my day. Instead, I snuggled Nollie and went back to sleep until 12:30! I felt like such a lazy pile for doing that, but I seriously couldn't help it. After my morning snooze, I cleaned up a bit around the house and headed out to run a few errands. I could barley keep my eyes open in target, and for anyone who knows me and target, that is not normal! I got something to eat and headed home. I remember texting my mom and telling her how worthless I felt for being so sluggish. She told me my body was working really hard and I needed to give myself a break; I of course didn't believe her, but some how found myself in bed with Nollie once more watching Netflix.
I had been having pretty inconsistent contractions for about a week leading up to Saturday. These contractions were painful and would keep me up at night wanting to just be done being pregnant. At my appointment on Monday the 24th I was dilated 2cm and 50% effaced. Every book I've read said that with first time moms to not get too excited over those numbers, because a lot can happen and progression isn't guaranteed. Blah. I just assumed that baby girl was snug as a bug. Joe came home from work on Saturday and helped me put together Kaymin's swing. I joked that putting together that stupid thing was what would put me into labor...little did we know it probably did. After the swing was assembled and tested out by Nollie, I had a sudden burst of energy and cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms. How opposite of the day I had earlier.
By this time it was 11:45 and I was having some pretty intense contractions. That wasn't uncommon, because I would always have painful contractions at night; I decided I would take a Tylenol pm and climb into bed hoping that would help me get some much needed rest. Joe came to bed and we started to have our usual pillow talk, when suddenly I felt a gush. It wasn't like I imagined it to be (a huge rush of gushing water that never ends) it felt almost like if you've ever laughed so hard you pee a little... I'll be really embarrassed if I'm the only one this has ever happened to ha! Anyway, I looked over at Joe and told him, "I think I either wet the bed, or my water just broke. I can't tell." He instantly jumped up and ran over to survey the evidence. Nothing else was leaking out like my books said, and I wasn't having contractions, so I must have just wet the bed... How embarrassing. We decided we better just be safe and go to the hospital and see what was going on.
We slowly got our bags together, I threw a few extra items in, changed into regular clothes and fixed my unwashed hair. I was really hoping I wasn't in labor because I was too tired and lazy to have washed my hair earlier that day. At the time, having a baby with second day hair was not okay.
We didn't rush to the hospital at all, it was all happening exactly opposite of what I expected. I tried calling my mom who had been on strict orders of keeping her phone on loud at night, just in case anything like this happened. She didn't answer ha, so I just sent her a text telling her what was going on and told her I would be in touch. By this time is was 1:00 am and I told joe when we were on our way home that I wanted to stop at In-n-Out because I was starving. I honestly thought we would get turned away, which was exactly what I wanted. We left Nollie all alone and confused and our house was a total disaster. And did I mention that I needed to wash my hair?
We got to the hospital and got all checked in and they took us up to labor and delivery. The nurse we had during this time was awesome, I was so nervous about having mean nurses! I told her what had happened and how I didn't think I was in labor, but we wanted to check it out just in case. They hooked me up to monitors to watch my heart rate and the baby's; it was so fun to be able to sit and listen to her little heart beat for so long. I loved it. They did one test to see if my water had actually broken and that one came back negative! Phew, we were getting sent home! Instead, she did another test that would take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to get results. She told us to walk the halls until the results came back. She said if the second test comes back negative, but if I'm more dilated than a 3 they would most likely keep me. By this time my tylenol pm was kicking in and I was so groggy and really annoyed that they were keeping us around when I wasn't even in labor! As we walked my mom finally called me back, in a panic, wondering if her and Mark should head down to the hospital. I told her it was probably a false alarm and that she needed to go back to sleep.(I totally thought she would fall back asleep, she alter told me she sat up with her phone glued to her waiting for an update. Poor thing!) After we had been walking for 20 minutes or so I started having really intense contractions and began to wonder if this was the real thing or not. Of course I couldn't wait to finally meet my little girl, I just wasn't mentally prepared to have her come before my due date.
As we made our final lap past the nurses station, my nurse told me that my test came back positive that my water did in fact break and they were keeping us! I stood there completely shocked and said to the nurse, "So does that mean I'm having a baby today?" they all laughed and told me YES! Hello, curveball.
^ I thought this screen shot McKenna took was so cute!!
As we made our final lap past the nurses station, my nurse told me that my test came back positive that my water did in fact break and they were keeping us! I stood there completely shocked and said to the nurse, "So does that mean I'm having a baby today?" they all laughed and told me YES! Hello, curveball.
Joe ran to the car to get all our bags and I continued to walk the halls while I waited for him. It was during those quiet moments that everything started to hit me, I'm having a baby. Those moments as I walked past the same doors and windows were/are so sacred to me. Everything was so still and peaceful on the labor and delivery floor as I spent my last few moments alone with just me and my baby Kaymin. As I continued to walk, I had a mix of emotions wash over me: I was overwhelmed and completely petrified of what was going to happen next, but I was also able to feel peace and strength in a totally different and profound way than I've ever felt before. It was such a weird feeling to be completely clueless about how everything was going to go, but to feel so comfortable and at ease with it all. I was okay with the unknown, I had total confidence in myself and in my body that I knew things would be fine. I remember my last lap past the nurses station having the worst contraction ever. I grabbed the railing on the wall and placed my forehead against the glass of the window trying to focus through the pain. Out of no where Joe was standing behind me holding me and helping me through it; thank goodness he showed up when he did because I'm pretty sure I was about ready to pass out. It was crazy knowing that my body knew exactly what to do and how fast everything was happening.
All that walking really did me in and my contractions were starting to come fast and hard; all I wanted was to sleep a little before she came but that was impossible. I knew going into this that I would get an epidural, but I wanted to see how long I could tough it out for; turns out 6.5 hours was my limit. Sweet, sweet epidural, oh how I love you. My nurse asked me a couple times if I was ready for my epidural and when I finally gave in and told her that I needed it she said I can either see if the anesthesiologist that was working now could do it before his shift was over, or I'd have to wait until the next guy came in an hour later. There was no way I could wait an hour so I begged my nurse to beg him to stay. Thank goodness he did! This next part was really annoying…he was having a really difficult time getting the epidural in and I was about ready to claw someone's eyeballs out. Not only is it hard enough to curl up in a ball and hug a pillow at 9 months pregnant, but to hold still through contractions that are never ending was no easy task. My nurse asked me if I had ever had scoliosis or been in a bad car accident that injured my lumbar spine. No to both of those questions. The anesthesiologist was having such a hard time getting my epidural in because of how tight my lower back is, something I have gotten yelled at for years and years in dance ha. After trying for about 20 minutes he was finally able to get everything squared away and I was now able to relax and get some sleep before my mom and sister arrived, which is exactly what my body needed.
My nurse I had during this time was a different one than I had in the middle of the night, her name was Susie and she was amazing, definitely the kind of nurse I needed. She was tough, but encouraging all at the same time. She braided my hair for me because I had told her how upset I was that I couldn't wash my hair haha. She probably thought I was crazy, but I appreciated her helping me feel pretty during such a vulnerable time. By the time 11 a.m. rolled around I was progressing really fast and my nurse said it was time to push. Once again the reality that I was having a baby hadn't quite sunk in, and I asked my nurse "ready to push? As in push to have a baby?"…haha she told me that's kind of why I'm there! Duh!
It was just me and joe in the delivery room, I'm so glad I did it that way. Not to say that I don't love my family, I just had a hard enough time focusing through contractions with everyone in my room that there would be no way I could focus during delivery. My mom said that she and my sister had their ears up to the door when I started to practice pushing and at one point she heard me whimper and ran away in tears. So it's probably good for all of us that it was just me and joe in there ;)
We did a few practice pushes, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be and a lot more painful than I was expecting. I practiced pushing for about 30 minutes and then it was time for my doctor to come in. I was really bad at pushing in the beginning because I couldn't figure out how to breathe correctly. I kept telling Susie that the way she wanted me to breathe went against everything I had be taught in dance; once again, she probably thought I was a total nut case, but after a few practice pushes I finally got the hang of it. My real doctor happened to be out of town, but the doctor that delivered Kaymin was amazing; I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I was nervous having a total stranger whom I've never met deliver my baby, but she was so great and definitely put my hesitations to rest. My nurse told me to do only half pushes while we waited for the doctor, but I couldn't. My body wasn't going to let me do only half pushes…baby wanted out and I couldn't control what was happening. My doctor ran in and I was finally able to let go and push. What a crazy feeling it was to feel Kaymin slowly moving down my tummy. I only pushed for real for about 45 minutes. Joe was amazing; he stood by my side and told me how amazing I was doing and how each push was better and stronger than the last. He was the best cheerleader and source of comfort, especially when I wanted to do was give up.
I could feel Kaymin getting closer and closer when suddenly my doctor said, "one more push and you'll have your daughter!" I don't think I've ever had that kind of strength come over me in my entire life, but one more push and she literally flew out of me. They plopped her right up on my stomach and I've never cried harder or been happier in life. The rest of the time was a total blur. They cleaned her up right on my stomach and then let me have skin to skin with my little girl. I remember looking at Joe and he was crying; there was such a special spirit in that room I wish I could go back and relive it.
I could feel Kaymin getting closer and closer when suddenly my doctor said, "one more push and you'll have your daughter!" I don't think I've ever had that kind of strength come over me in my entire life, but one more push and she literally flew out of me. They plopped her right up on my stomach and I've never cried harder or been happier in life. The rest of the time was a total blur. They cleaned her up right on my stomach and then let me have skin to skin with my little girl. I remember looking at Joe and he was crying; there was such a special spirit in that room I wish I could go back and relive it.
I tore pretty bad, so while they were stitching me up they took Kaymin to get weighed and measured. They did everything right by my bedside, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. It was definitely a welcome distraction from the pain I was in. They were so fast with cleaning her up which i was appreciative of, because I was already missing my little girl.
We were finally able to take our sweet girl home on her due date of April 1st! It was a crazy day, it snowed all day long, and I was regretting my shoes of choice the night we went to the hospital: flip flops, oh well :)
Kaymin McKae was born on Sunday March 30th, 2014 at 1:25 p.m. She weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. She has completely rocked our world, but we couldn't be happier to have this sweet little spirit in our home.
As I'm sure some of you are wondering, we did change the spelling of her name from Kaymen to Kaymin. We thought it would be cute for her to have the matching "in" in her name like my name has :)
