I'll be the first to tell you that I was quite a Grinch on Christmas. You're probably thinking, "How is it even possible to be unhappy during the best month of the year?!" Any other year I would have smacked someone who was being a Debby Downer on my most favorite holiday. I mean, who could possibly be a grump on Christmas with tons of delicious food, family, presents, and boat loads of candy!
It's most definitely not something I am proud of, and I promise that this post isn't as depressing as it might sound, just give me a moment to wallow (I promise I'll be quick). This Christmas was very different from all the other ones we've celebrated. Not only was I away from Joe, but this is was the first Christmas we had since my parents divorced over the summer. My sister and I woke up and did a little bit of Christmas with my Dad and left to go over to our Mom's for breakfast and more presents. You know those days you have and from the moment you wake up you just know that day is going to be awful? I never thought those days could creep in on Christmas!
As we drove over to our Mom's I couldn't help but think of how much I hated the hassle of driving the whole 5 minutes to our Mom's house and how stupid it was that Santa didn't come (oh yeah, the whiney, cry baby award clearly goes to me!). I was in a mood and I didn't care that it was Christmas, nothing was stopping my pity party! Don't get me wrong, we had a lovely time with our Mom and her husband Mark and we of course got wonderful gifts that we definitely didn't deserve or need (well, except the socks I was in definite need of those). The gifts my Dad got us were also outrageous and I was not deserving of them at all (especially with the tude I was pullin' that day)
I was in a funk, and no amount of perfectly decorated and sprinkled sugar cookies could pull me out of it! You know it's bad when cookies can't make me happy...
My Dad reminded me that we were going to go do a service project with another family in our ward later that afternoon. Surprising, my heart wasn't bitterly cold that day, I was eager to go and get my mind off how unhappy I was.
My Dad reminded me that we were going to go do a service project with another family in our ward later that afternoon. Surprising, my heart wasn't bitterly cold that day, I was eager to go and get my mind off how unhappy I was.
You know that one family in your ward, the one that is gorgeous and perfectly put together all the time? The family where each person is ridiculously talented, and without effort can make anyone's resume look like an old scrap of paper. Yes, this is the Bluth family for those who might be fortunate enough to know them. My Dad, sister and I went over to their house to make and assemble lunches that we would hand out to the homeless in downtown Phoenix.
These weren't just your ordinary brown bag lunches. We're talking about the Bluth family, they were gourmet lunches and it was hard not to sneak some of the goodies (I promise the missing pudding wasn't me!)
The lunches included a Turkey sandwich with lettuce and cheese, peanut butter crackers, chips, a baby orange, pudding, a Capri Sun, and napkins and a plastic knife and spoon! Talk about some amazing lunches, and if it couldn't get any better than that, there were adorned with the cutest Christmas tree decorations that gave them that extra festive punch! I wish I would have taken a picture because they were adorable!
The adults piled in one car and McKenna, Lexi, and her older sister and husband and I got into another car and headed down to Van Buren, a street in Phoenix that doesn't have the best reputation. The entire drive down I complained about how I didn't get a new ipod (in my defense, my itouch broke the week before Christmas, so I was a little bummed to be ipod-less). We didn't really have a plan we just decided to stop and hand out the lunches to people who we thought looked in need of some Christmas cheer (quite the responsibility! We wanted to give a lunch to everyone we saw) We found a park with a few people sleeping and gave the lunches to them. Us girls didn't think it was the safest to get out on our own so we delegated the handing out to Courtney's husband, Austin. When we would see someone on the street we'd pull over and Austin would roll down his window and say, "Hey! You want this?" it was hilarious and quickly became the ongoing joke of the day. I'm sorry if no one else thinks that is funny, but it was a riot to us.
Slowly, my perspective and attitude started to change. We saw so many people living on the streets, not knowing when they would get their next meal and I had the audacity to complain about how much of a "hassle" my life was and how upset I was that I didn't get a new ipod. The sinking feeling in my stomach and the lump in my throat grew and I felt horribly selfish and ungrateful. (I'm sure most of you reading this are saying, "Well good you deserve it!")
There was one man that we gave a lunch to that especially touched each of our hearts. We only had a few lunches left when we followed the adults into an empty parking lot. Sitting behind an old Chinese restaurant with a shopping cart full of empty cans and cardboard boxes was a rugged looking man. He wore a tattered trucker hat and sported a long gray beard, he was the stereotypical man that you would feel increasingly uncomfortable around if you were alone saw him on the street. My Dad got out of the car and started talking to him, immediately his face lit up and he smiled the most genuine smile I have ever seen; despite the missing teeth he had.
I don't know what my Dad talked to him about, but as he stood there I thought about how lucky I am to have all that I am given so freely. I never have to worry about where I'll sleep at night or where my next meal is going to come from. I have an amazing family who loves and supports me, even though we don't have"the perfect family" it is still great and a lot better than what most people have.
As we started to drive away we saw the old man say a prayer and throw his fist in the air in a joyous expression, as if he was explaining "yesssss!" . He held on tightly to the box and gently touched and admired the decorative Christmas tree that perfectly topped the box. As we watched this, there wasn't a dry eye in the car and we humbly sat in silence in awe of what we just witnessed. Courtney said, "and this is why we do this, for people like him!" I couldn't agree more with her statement! For those couple hours I didn't think once about the gifts I didn't receive or about myself and the "problems" I had. I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and love from my Heavenly Father during the quiet drive back to Scottsdale. The gratitude I have towards my life all the wonderful blessings I take part in every day touched me like never before. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to lose myself in service and help those in need. I have always thought if I can touch the life of just one person,then my work has been done.
Even though we didn't make a huge difference in the world nor did we provide lasting happiness for the people we saw, I know that we provided them with a little ounce of joy and perhaps a sliver of hope that there is good to be had in the world, we just have to go out and find it. Every time I start to complain (which is quite frequently) I think of that old man and what he might be doing and my attitude changes immediately and the gratitude I felt that day rushes over me once more.
I am proud to say that by the time we got home my heart, much like the Grinch's, grew three sizes that day and I gained a new and much needed perspective on life. Next year (hopefully if the Bluth's invite us again) we would like to make 100 lunches. There is nothing quite like service on the best day of the year!
These weren't just your ordinary brown bag lunches. We're talking about the Bluth family, they were gourmet lunches and it was hard not to sneak some of the goodies (I promise the missing pudding wasn't me!)
The lunches included a Turkey sandwich with lettuce and cheese, peanut butter crackers, chips, a baby orange, pudding, a Capri Sun, and napkins and a plastic knife and spoon! Talk about some amazing lunches, and if it couldn't get any better than that, there were adorned with the cutest Christmas tree decorations that gave them that extra festive punch! I wish I would have taken a picture because they were adorable!
The adults piled in one car and McKenna, Lexi, and her older sister and husband and I got into another car and headed down to Van Buren, a street in Phoenix that doesn't have the best reputation. The entire drive down I complained about how I didn't get a new ipod (in my defense, my itouch broke the week before Christmas, so I was a little bummed to be ipod-less). We didn't really have a plan we just decided to stop and hand out the lunches to people who we thought looked in need of some Christmas cheer (quite the responsibility! We wanted to give a lunch to everyone we saw) We found a park with a few people sleeping and gave the lunches to them. Us girls didn't think it was the safest to get out on our own so we delegated the handing out to Courtney's husband, Austin. When we would see someone on the street we'd pull over and Austin would roll down his window and say, "Hey! You want this?" it was hilarious and quickly became the ongoing joke of the day. I'm sorry if no one else thinks that is funny, but it was a riot to us.
Slowly, my perspective and attitude started to change. We saw so many people living on the streets, not knowing when they would get their next meal and I had the audacity to complain about how much of a "hassle" my life was and how upset I was that I didn't get a new ipod. The sinking feeling in my stomach and the lump in my throat grew and I felt horribly selfish and ungrateful. (I'm sure most of you reading this are saying, "Well good you deserve it!")
There was one man that we gave a lunch to that especially touched each of our hearts. We only had a few lunches left when we followed the adults into an empty parking lot. Sitting behind an old Chinese restaurant with a shopping cart full of empty cans and cardboard boxes was a rugged looking man. He wore a tattered trucker hat and sported a long gray beard, he was the stereotypical man that you would feel increasingly uncomfortable around if you were alone saw him on the street. My Dad got out of the car and started talking to him, immediately his face lit up and he smiled the most genuine smile I have ever seen; despite the missing teeth he had.
I don't know what my Dad talked to him about, but as he stood there I thought about how lucky I am to have all that I am given so freely. I never have to worry about where I'll sleep at night or where my next meal is going to come from. I have an amazing family who loves and supports me, even though we don't have"the perfect family" it is still great and a lot better than what most people have.
As we started to drive away we saw the old man say a prayer and throw his fist in the air in a joyous expression, as if he was explaining "yesssss!" . He held on tightly to the box and gently touched and admired the decorative Christmas tree that perfectly topped the box. As we watched this, there wasn't a dry eye in the car and we humbly sat in silence in awe of what we just witnessed. Courtney said, "and this is why we do this, for people like him!" I couldn't agree more with her statement! For those couple hours I didn't think once about the gifts I didn't receive or about myself and the "problems" I had. I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and love from my Heavenly Father during the quiet drive back to Scottsdale. The gratitude I have towards my life all the wonderful blessings I take part in every day touched me like never before. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to lose myself in service and help those in need. I have always thought if I can touch the life of just one person,then my work has been done.
Even though we didn't make a huge difference in the world nor did we provide lasting happiness for the people we saw, I know that we provided them with a little ounce of joy and perhaps a sliver of hope that there is good to be had in the world, we just have to go out and find it. Every time I start to complain (which is quite frequently) I think of that old man and what he might be doing and my attitude changes immediately and the gratitude I felt that day rushes over me once more.
I am proud to say that by the time we got home my heart, much like the Grinch's, grew three sizes that day and I gained a new and much needed perspective on life. Next year (hopefully if the Bluth's invite us again) we would like to make 100 lunches. There is nothing quite like service on the best day of the year!
