My Little Girl

November 13th 2013:

It still feels so surreal to think that there is a little girl inside of my tummy kicking and flipping all around, I love her so much already. I think I cried twice before actually making it to the hospital for my appointment; I was extremely cranky all morning for some reason, I blame the pregnancy hormones. I shouldn't be cranky or crying, in an hour we would find out what this little baby was- I should be over the moon giddy. To some extent I was, but my nerves got in the way of that. I really didn't even care what we were having just as long as he or she was healthy.

We walked into the dark ultrasound room and I seriously thought I was going to be sick, luckily I wasn't.  The second we saw the little baby on the screen twisting and punching my heart was calm and  I was finally able to relax. There she was, so cute and so happy.  Joe grabbed my hand and we watched in amazement of our little girl.  At this point, we didn't know she was a girl and it didn't matter. I have had a feeling all along that it was a girl, I've had so many vivid dreams about her and according to my mom some of my cravings pointed to having a girl ha. As we moved on to get a better look at her little legs the ultrasound tech said she was having a hard time getting a clear picture because she wouldn't stop moving...she really is me and Joe's baby! Then she asked if we wanted to know the gender, for a split second I was hesitant, but Joe responded with "yes, tell us!" and she said "it's a girl!". I looked at Joe, he had stars in his eyes, he was completely in awe of his baby girl.  I thought I would be a lot more dramatic than I was, I quietly gasped and a tear or two rolled down my cheek.  My baby girl.

Joe has always wanted a boy, so I've been kind of nervous this whole time leading up to the ultrasound hoping he would still be happy with a girl.  Who am I kidding? It's Joe, he is seriously the best and most supportive guy around I had nothing to worry about.  After we finished with the ultrasound the doctor came in to talk to us about it. He said everything looks perfect, that our little girl is healthy and great. That was the biggest relief to hear. I've been so worried about this little peanut, I try my best to eat healthy, and get enough sleep, and drink enough water but some things are just out of my control.

After the doctor left Joe and I sat in the room and I cried, yet again trying to let the reality of the situation sink in.  There's so many emotions I felt/feel it's hard to put into words. I feel so incredibly blessed and grateful to be carrying this little baby, I can't believe she chose to come be apart of our little family. There's definitely a reason this has all happened, and I have to keep reminding myself of that, because it's not always on our timing that is taken into consideration.