Kaymin: One month

Holy cow, has it really been a month!? That first week was probably the longest most sleep deprived week of my life... Everyone would say, "it goes by so fast, enjoy it!" I would politely laugh and say, "oh, yes it certainly does!". Secretly, I was thinking that time had surely stood still because there was no way I was only 10 days postpartum. Now that we have this first month under our belt, I feel like I've got a much better handle on things. I'm not as sleep deprived (or I'm just used to no sleep) and I'm starting to understand kaymin and her little personality better. 

At one month: 

You started to projectile vomit after every feeding and your doctor thought you had pyloric stenosis. After 2 ultrasounds, days of worrying, and prayers being answered everything was fine! Your doctor told us to prepare for surgery, but luckily everything in your tests came back normal, much to the surprise of your doctor. We couldn't be happier. We learned that you're a little piggy when you eat and we have to cut you off mid feeding to catch your breath. You hate it, but it made all the difference. 

You slept 5 hours straight once. Mom woke up panicked and checked on you every ten minutes instead of sleeping. Crazy mom. 

You're so incredibly strong! You hold your head up and kick like no ones business. We've started tummy time with you and you are not a fan. Dr. Jerman says 5 minutes 3 times a day, sorry babe! 

You love car rides! Our favorite time of the day is going out for our afternoon drive. You knock right out and will sleep for hours afterword. It's sometimes the only time I can get things done or nap! When the weather gets nicer we will start going for walks! 

At your last doctors visit you weighed 9.2 lbs! You've gained a whole pound in one month. 

You're so much more alert now. You recognize mom's voice and will turn your head to find/look at me. I love it. 

You refuse to go to sleep for dad. I think it's because you miss dad and want to play. Dad thinks he's bad luck. 

Nollie is obsessed with you. The second we come home from our afternoon drive she jumps right in your car seat to cuddle you. 

The other morning I brought you into bed with me to snuggle and eat. We slept from 9:30-1:30 and it was great :) 

You're the noisiest sleeper I've ever heard. You grunt, snore, and whistle louder than any grown man does. After your first week home we moved you to your own room, sorry! 

You continue to steal our hearts every single day! I couldn't be happier to be your momma! 

Kaymin McKae's Birth Story

It's so hard to believe that as I sit here typing this, I'm snuggling my precious little girl. Her birth didn't occur anything like Joe and I were expecting or planning, but how it happened was perfect just like her.

Saturday march 29th: I was so exhausted. I woke up late, around 9:30, and went downstairs and had some cereal, I had so much to do that day that I should have gotten in the shower right then and started my day. Instead, I snuggled Nollie and went back to sleep until 12:30! I felt like such a lazy pile for doing that, but I seriously couldn't help it. After my morning snooze, I cleaned up a bit around the house and headed out to run a few errands. I could barley keep my eyes open in target, and for anyone who knows me and target, that is not normal! I got something to eat and headed home. I remember texting my mom and telling her how worthless I felt for being so sluggish. She told me my body was working really hard and I needed to give myself a break; I of course didn't believe her, but some how found myself in bed with Nollie once more watching Netflix. 

I had been having pretty inconsistent contractions for about a week leading up to Saturday. These contractions were painful and would keep me up at night wanting to just be done being pregnant. At my appointment on Monday the 24th I was dilated 2cm and 50% effaced. Every book I've read said that with first time moms to not get too excited over those numbers, because a lot can happen and progression isn't guaranteed. Blah. I just assumed that baby girl was snug as a bug.  Joe came home from work on Saturday and helped me put together Kaymin's swing. I joked that putting together that stupid thing was what would put me into labor...little did we know it probably did. After the swing was assembled and tested out by Nollie, I had a sudden burst of energy and cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms. How opposite of the day I had earlier.

By this time it was 11:45 and I was having some pretty intense contractions. That wasn't uncommon, because I would always have painful contractions at night; I decided I would take a Tylenol pm and climb into bed hoping that would help me get some much needed rest. Joe came to bed and we started to have our usual pillow talk, when suddenly I felt a gush. It wasn't like I imagined it to be (a huge rush of gushing water that never ends) it felt almost like if you've ever laughed so hard you pee a little... I'll be really embarrassed if I'm the only one this has ever happened to ha! Anyway, I looked over at Joe and told him, "I think I either wet the bed, or my water just broke. I can't tell." He instantly jumped up and ran over to survey the evidence. Nothing else was leaking out like my books said, and I wasn't having contractions, so I must have just wet the bed... How embarrassing. We decided we better just be safe and go to the hospital and see what was going on. 

We slowly got our bags together, I threw a few extra items in, changed into regular clothes and fixed my unwashed hair. I was really hoping I wasn't in labor because I was too tired and lazy to have washed my hair earlier that day. At the time, having a baby with second day hair was not okay.

We didn't rush to the hospital at all, it was all happening exactly opposite of what I expected. I tried calling my mom who had been on strict orders of keeping her phone on loud at night, just in case anything like this happened. She didn't answer ha, so I just sent her a text telling her what was going on and told her I would be in touch. By this time is was 1:00 am and I told joe when we were on our way home that I wanted to stop at In-n-Out because I was starving. I honestly thought we would get turned away, which was exactly what I wanted. We left Nollie all alone and confused and our house was a total disaster. And did I mention that I needed to wash my hair?

We got to the hospital and got all checked in and they took us up to labor and delivery. The nurse we had during this time was awesome, I was so nervous about having mean nurses! I told her what had happened and how I didn't think I was in labor, but we wanted to check it out just in case. They hooked me up to monitors to watch my heart rate and the baby's; it was so fun to be able to sit and listen to her little heart beat for so long. I loved it. They did one test to see if my water had actually broken and that one came back negative! Phew, we were getting sent home! Instead, she did another test that would take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to get results. She told us to walk the halls until the results came back. She said if the second test comes back negative, but if I'm more dilated than a 3 they would most likely keep me. By this time my tylenol pm was kicking in and I was so groggy and really annoyed that they were keeping us around when I wasn't even in labor! As we walked my mom finally called me back, in a panic, wondering if her and Mark should head down to the hospital. I told her it was probably a false alarm and that she needed to go back to sleep.(I totally thought she would fall back asleep, she alter told me she sat up with her phone glued to her waiting for an update. Poor thing!) After we had been walking for 20 minutes or so I started having really intense contractions and began to wonder if this was the real thing or not. Of course I couldn't wait to finally meet my little girl, I just wasn't mentally prepared to have her come before my due date.

As we made our final lap past the nurses station, my nurse told me that my test came back positive that my water did in fact break and they were keeping us! I stood there completely shocked and said to the nurse, "So does that mean I'm having a baby today?" they all laughed and told me YES! Hello, curveball.

^ I thought this screen shot McKenna took was so cute!! 

Joe ran to the car to get all our bags and I continued to walk the halls while I waited for him. It was during those quiet moments that everything started to hit me, I'm having a baby. Those moments as I walked past the same doors and windows were/are so sacred to me. Everything was so still and peaceful on the labor and delivery floor as I spent my last few moments alone with just me and my baby Kaymin. As I continued to walk, I had a mix of emotions wash over me: I was overwhelmed and completely petrified of what was going to happen next, but I was also able to feel peace and strength in a totally different and profound way than I've ever felt before. It was such a weird feeling to be completely clueless about how everything was going to go, but to feel so comfortable and at ease with it all. I was okay with the unknown, I had total confidence in myself and in my body that I knew things would be fine. I remember my last lap past the nurses station having the worst contraction ever. I grabbed the railing on the wall and placed my forehead against the glass of the window trying to focus through the pain. Out of no where Joe was standing behind me holding me and helping me through it; thank goodness he showed up when he did because I'm pretty sure I was about ready to pass out. It was crazy knowing that my body knew exactly what to do and how fast everything was happening.

All that walking really did me in and my contractions were starting to come fast and hard; all I wanted was to sleep a little before she came but that was impossible. I knew going into this that I would get an epidural, but I wanted to see how long I could tough it out for; turns out 6.5 hours was my limit. Sweet, sweet epidural, oh how I love you. My nurse asked me a couple times if I was ready for my epidural and when I finally gave in and told her that I needed it she said I can either see if the anesthesiologist that was working now could do it before his shift was over, or I'd have to wait until the next guy came in an hour later. There was no way I could wait an hour so I begged my nurse to beg him to stay. Thank goodness he did! This next part was really annoying…he was having a really difficult time getting the epidural in and I was about ready to claw someone's eyeballs out. Not only is it hard enough to curl up in a ball and hug a pillow at 9 months pregnant, but to hold still through contractions that are never ending was no easy task. My nurse asked me if I had ever had scoliosis or been in a bad car accident that injured my lumbar spine. No to both of those questions. The anesthesiologist was having such a hard time getting my epidural in because of how tight my lower back is, something I have gotten yelled at for years and years in dance ha. After trying for about 20 minutes he was finally able to get everything squared away and  I was now able to relax and get some sleep before my mom and sister arrived, which is exactly what my body needed.

My nurse I had during this time was a different one than I had in the middle of the night, her name was Susie and she was amazing, definitely the kind of nurse I needed. She was tough, but encouraging all at the same time. She braided my hair for me because I had told her how upset I was that I couldn't wash my hair haha. She probably thought I was crazy, but I appreciated her helping me feel pretty during such a vulnerable time. By the time 11 a.m. rolled around I was progressing really fast and my nurse said it was time to push. Once again the reality that I was having a baby hadn't quite sunk in, and I asked my nurse "ready to push? As in push to have a baby?"…haha she told me that's kind of why I'm there! Duh!

It was just me and joe in the delivery room, I'm so glad I did it that way. Not to say that I don't love my family, I just had a hard enough time focusing through contractions with everyone in my room that there would be no way I could focus during delivery. My mom said that she and my sister had their ears up to the door when I started to practice pushing and at one point she heard me whimper and ran away in tears. So it's probably good for all of us that it was just me and joe in there ;)

We did a few practice pushes, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be and a lot more painful than I was expecting. I practiced pushing for about 30 minutes and then it was time for my doctor to come in. I was really bad at pushing in the beginning because I couldn't figure out how to breathe correctly. I kept telling Susie that the way she wanted me to breathe went against everything I had be taught in dance; once again, she probably thought I was a total nut case, but after a few practice pushes I finally got the hang of it. My real doctor happened to be out of town, but the doctor that delivered Kaymin was amazing; I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I was nervous having a total stranger whom I've never met deliver my baby, but she was so great and definitely put my hesitations to rest. My nurse told me to do only half pushes while we waited for the doctor, but I couldn't. My body wasn't going to let me do only half pushes…baby wanted out and I couldn't control what was happening. My doctor ran in and I was finally able to let go and push. What a crazy feeling it was to feel Kaymin slowly moving down my tummy. I only pushed for real for about 45 minutes. Joe was amazing; he stood by my side and told me how amazing I was doing and how each push was better and stronger than the last. He was the best cheerleader and source of comfort, especially when I wanted to do was give up.

I could feel Kaymin getting closer and closer when suddenly my doctor said, "one more push and you'll have your daughter!" I don't think I've ever had that kind of strength come over me in my entire life, but one more push and she literally flew out of me. They plopped her right up on my stomach and I've never cried harder or been happier in life. The rest of the time was a total blur. They cleaned her up right on my stomach and then let me have skin to skin with my little girl. I remember looking at Joe and he was crying; there was such a special spirit in that room I wish I could go back and relive it.

 I tore pretty bad, so while they were stitching me up they took Kaymin to get weighed and measured. They did everything right by my bedside, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. It was definitely a welcome distraction from the pain I was in. They were so fast with cleaning her up which i was appreciative of, because I was already missing my little girl.

The rest of the time spent in the hospital is a complete blur. After I was done being stitched up, joe and I were alone with kaymin for .7 seconds. My mom, sister, and step dad all came in and I'm pretty sure everyone was crying, it was such a special day. It was so nice to have them all there to support us and help us through these first few hours with her. Joe and I laugh that my mom, sister, and mark all held Kaymin longer than we did in those first few hours haha.

I decided that it would be best to have Kaymin in the nursery for the two nights that we were in the hospital, who knew that would be so hard to be away from her?! Despite how exhausted I was, I climbed out of my bed and made my way down to the nursery. I missed my little girl so much that I stood and just watched her sleep for an hour. I'm sure the nurses in there thought I was a total crazy person for being up and watching the nursery at such hours of the night, but I couldn't help it. As I sat there and watched my little girl sleeping so peacefully I couldn't help but feel completely overwhelmed and out of my mind scared. I had no idea what I was doing, I barley could change her diaper without freaking out that I was going to hurt her. How on earth am I supposed to take her home and care for her? Sheesh, if I could go back to myself in that moment I would tell myself to calm down, it will all be okay. We're starting to figure this whole thing out together, and we couldn't be happier.

We were finally able to take our sweet girl home on her due date of April 1st! It was a crazy day, it snowed all day long, and I was regretting my shoes of choice the night we went to the hospital: flip flops, oh well :)

Kaymin McKae was born on Sunday March 30th, 2014 at 1:25 p.m. She weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. She has completely rocked our world, but we couldn't be happier to have this sweet little spirit in our home.

As I'm sure some of you are wondering, we did change the spelling of her name from Kaymen to Kaymin. We thought it would be cute for her to have the matching "in" in her name like my name has :) 

One week

I actually can't even wrap my head around Kaymen being a week old. This past week has been crazy. It's been exhausting, frustrating, filled with laughter, and a lot of tears from mom and baby. Despite how overwhelming it's been, I haven't felt as much joy or pure love than I do when I'm holding this sweet little girl.

 It's been so fun to see joe in his new role as a dad; he has truly been amazing and the biggest support to me as I'm trying to figure out my new role as a mother. I couldn't do any of this without him. Kaymen is so lucky to have her as her dad, I can't wait to see their relationship grow and blossom. 

At one week old:

You absolutely hate nursing. This has been the hardest thing for both of us. 

You are so strong! I'm amazed at how well you can hold your head up and how strong your little arms are. 

You love sleeping in your swing. It's actually the only way any of us get some sleep at night. 

You're starting to be more active during the day... Hopefully this means you'll sleep a little more at night. 

You get the hiccups all the time! Makes sense because you had them like crazy when you were in my tummy.  

You've gotten your heal pricked 5 times since you were born. Your doctor was worried about your bellirubin score. The first time you cried, but the 4 times after you slept right through it! 

You already have so much personality; you're definitely giving mom and dad a run for their money. 

You sometimes smile in your sleep. Mom and dad melt every time we see it. 

You really only like burping for dad. 

Nollie is so interested in you. You let her sniff you and sometimes even let her take off your socks. You don't seem to mind. 

It's so fun to see your big stretches and kicks when you're asleep. It reminds me of how you'd jab and beat the heck out of my ribs when you were in my tummy. 

After you eat, you will quietly stare right at me. It melts my heart knowing that you know I'm your momma. I love our special connection and can't wait to see it grow. 

We love you, Kaymen! You've completely turned our world upside down, but we wouldn't have it any other way! 

This bun in the oven

I had a doctor's appointment today, I feel like having them weekly makes them come sooo much quicker than they used to! Joe started his new shift this week at work (he will be working 4 ten hour days which makes it possible for him to be home with me and baby for 3 days in a row, I can't wait!) so he wasn't able to come to today's the appointment. This guy, let me just tell ya, has been a champ coming to every single doctor's appointment, asking tons and tons of questions, and always making sure I am taken care of. He's been such a huge support and has taken to his role as Dad perfectly already! Our usual nurse that does my vitals every week was shocked when I showed up today without Joe, instead my mom came so I wouldn't have to go alone! Gotta love that momma of mine!

When my doctor checked me last week nothing was going on and I was okay with that! I needed that time to get everything ready and taken care of before this baby's big debut. When she checked me today I wasn't expecting much, but to my surprise I've already dilated 2cm and am 50% effaced! I've been having contractions at night that keep me up pretty consistently, but I didn't think much of them; I notice them the most when I've been out running errands or if I've gone longer at the gym that day. I guess these sleepless nights have been productive!

Since Joe has started this new job, he has obviously had to go through training and with the training he could either pass and keep his job or not pass and not have a job. I never had any doubt that he wouldn't pass his training, but he was nervous and spent much of his energy stressing over not having a job once the baby comes. Well, of course, he passed and was the first to graduate training out of his group making it so that he is now eligible for paternity leave! YAY! Before, we were looking at him only being able to have 2 days of emergency time off with me, and even though that would have majorly sucked, we would have made it work. I'm so relieved that he will now be able to spend at least 7 days home with us! Too bad he hasn't been working at American Express for a year, he would have gotten 6 weeks time off! Maybe for the next baby ;)

I am just so ready to get this show on the road! Things are finally coming together at home, I'm annoyed that I haven't had that "nesting" urge that everyone talks about. I had our place professionally cleaned last week so that helped a little, it's just trying to get everything organized and put together the way I want it. Hopefully, I can spend some more time tonight getting things in order… I have a feeling this baby is coming soon! :) (hopefully I didn't just jinx it)

38 weeks and 3 days

How far along: 38 weeks and 3 days. The countdown is on! 

Maternity clothes: I basically live in my maternity leggings. 

Stretch marks: Just the same few on my left hip. I lucked out and haven't gotten hardly any! 

Sleep: I wish I knew what sleeping through the night was like…I suppose it's just getting me ready for when baby comes. 

Best moment of this week: Not having to work! I have been able to relax, go grocery shopping, do laundry, and finally get ready for the little miss to arrive! 

Miss anything:  I miss being able to bend over. Thank goodness it's starting to warm up and I can wear flats. There's no way I could put my shoes and socks on alone right now! 

Movement: Still lot's of movement even though things are pretty cramped inside my tummy. It's getting more painful since she doesn't have much room to kick and flip. 
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges! I ate an entire can today :) 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope, not really! I still have to eat pretty consistently or else I get pretty queasy. 

Have you started to show yet: Oh yeah! My doctor says I'm measuring perfectly! 
Gender: Beautiful baby girl 

Labor signs: Had my first spout with contractions late last night. They weren't consistent, but boy were they painful. Hopefully, this means that baby girl is on her way! 

Belly button in or out: Still in! There's no way that this black hole of a belly button is popping out

Wedding rings on or off: Off and it makes me so sad!! I've been wearing my grandma's ring instead which I love. 
Happy or moody most of the time:  I've been happy! Not working and finally having time to myself has been amazing!!  
Looking forward to: getting all my last minute projects done before this girl makes her big debut!   

Showering Baby Leiser with Love

My mom threw me the most beautiful baby shower ever, it was everything I could have hoped for and more! My mom sure knows how to throw a party, and this was no exception to her party planning skills; she went above and beyond to make this day so special. It was such a nice day filled with so much love and support, this little baby is already so spoiled and so loved.

I had a few of my close friends and family that lives close attend. My mom's good friend that has known me since I was a wee little baby came from Arizona, and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law drove through a blizzard to come support me! I am so grateful to have had the love and support that day, I felt so loved!

We decided to do something a little different than your traditional baby shower at a restaurant or someone's house. The Grand America Hotel in downtown Salt Lake City has a high tea complete with tea sandwiches, scones, macarons, fruit tarts, an assortment of yummy teas and flavored hot chocolate. We knew this would be the perfect venue to shower this little princess of mine!  We all had a great time at our little tea party. 

Sorry that some of the pictures are blurry, I'm not sure what I did to mess them up! Whoops!